Rising to Meet the Self Who Dares to Dream

Embracing the Hidden Dynamics of Power: Reclaiming Personal Leadership

In this episode of Lead Between the Lines, host Lois takes you on a transformative journey into the subtle and often overlooked dynamics of personal leadership. What happens when power meets power? Lois introduces the provocative concept of the Existential Kink archetype—the part of you that secretly thrives on the tension of wanting without acting—and explores its role in keeping you stuck in cycles of frustration and unfulfilled dreams.

With vivid storytelling and actionable strategies, Lois guides you through the process of confronting your boldest, most unapologetic self. Discover the hidden rewards of staying small, understand how these dynamics operate within your ShadowOS, and learn how to reclaim the power you’ve been unknowingly outsourcing. This episode challenges traditional ideas about empowerment, offering a nuanced and deeply resonant approach to personal transformation.

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Introduction: Power Meets Power
Lois sets the stage by exploring what happens when you meet the version of yourself who dares to articulate impossible dreams.

00:32 – Exploring Personal Leadership
Unpacking the layers of personal leadership and the internal resistance that rises as you approach your potential.

01:27 – Confronting Your Boldest Self
The emotional friction of standing in the presence of your future self—and what it reveals about your hidden fears.

04:53 – Understanding the Existential Kink Archetype
A deep dive into the dynamics of secretly enjoying the struggle and how it keeps you tethered to your ShadowOS.

07:26 – Reclaiming Your Power
How to confront these dynamics without judgment and redirect the energy toward achieving your boldest visions.

10:06 – Embracing Frustration and Moving Forward
Learning to lean into frustration as a guide and using it to fuel personal growth and leadership.

13:58 – Conclusion: Meeting Your Desires
Closing with an empowering challenge: What would it take to fully meet the version of yourself who’s already living your dream?

Ready to elevate your personal power and step into your most authentic self? Download the Reinvention Roadmap now and start your journey toward unmatched clarity, self-mastery, and bold transformation. This powerful guide will help you redefine your path and create a vision for your future that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations. Get instant access and begin crafting the life you’re meant to lead.

Ready to find out what has really been calling the shots in your career and possibly life? Take the ShadowOS Archetype Quiz today.


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Transcript

1:08

What happens when a power meets power. When the version of you, who's quietly carrying the weight of your current life locks, eyes with the one who dares to articulate the dreams you've buried. There's a spark in that moment, a flicker of possibility, but let's not romanticize it. What rises burst isn't empowerment. It's friction, frustration, even fear. And this is where the real work begins. And I wanted to talk about this today because I recently experienced this when I was trying to step into my 2025 vision. So I think it's the perfect time for us to have this conversation. So welcome. To lead between the lines, the podcast, where we go beyond surface level growth. To explore the nuanced powerful and often uncomfortable truths of transformation. I'm Lois. And today we're tackling one of the most provocative dynamics in personal leadership. What happens when power meets power. Now you've probably heard that steel sharpens steel. The same thing happens here when power can enhance power. If we know how to hold it, and that's what we're really going to dive into. So in this episode, we are diving into the moment that you confront your boldest most unapologetic version of yourself. The woman who has already claimed the life, your secretly craving. And we'll meet the part of you, the existential kink archetype. Who secretly seduced by staying stuck by wanting without acting. And together we'll unpack how to break the cycle and rise to meet her fully and unapologetically. Now this isn't an episode about fixing yourself. It's about reclaiming the power. You've hidden. Owning the tension of your desires and stepping into a life that feels as audacious as the dreams you've been afraid to name. So let's get started. But why don't you do imagine standing in a room with her, the version of you who's already claimed everything you secretly crave. The version of you, who's already claimed everything. You secretly crave. She's bold, unapologetic and clear about what she wants. And then there's you. Standing in the doorway. Unsure. If you even belong in the same space. The air between you feels electric. Doesn't it. Like, but also it feels heavy. Because to meet her to even stay in that room. Your going to have to face everything in you. That wants to shrink back. And this is where power meets power. And it's not a gentle introduction. Take a second to think about like, what is rising in you right now? As I described this moment. Is it excitement or doubt or maybe even resistance. Resistance always shows up when we're standing at the edge of potential. But let's go deeper. What's beneath that resistance nine times out of 10 it's frustration. Frustration with the self that you've been the one who's played small to stay safe. Frustration with the excuses you've accepted, the dreams you've abandoned and the stories you've told yourself about what's possible. And if you're anything like me or my clients, that frustration doesn't sit quietly in the background, it roars, it demands to be heard. And if you're not careful, It will derail you before you even step into the work of meeting her fully. Now let's really complicate this because that's what my brain loves to do. What's rising in you as you stand in the presence of your bolder self. Isn't just fear or frustration. It's something deeper, something darker. It's a part of you that secretly getting off on staying small on the chaos of frustration itself. This is the part of you that thrives on the loop of almost, but not quite. Let me introduce you to an idea inspired by the existential kink archetype originally created by Carolyn Elliott. Now this dynamic highlights, the hidden payoff you get from not rising to meet your power. The secret satisfaction in staying stuck. Now in my work, I often talk about your shadow operating system, the unconscious operating system, running your patterns, making decisions. Think of this dynamic, the EK. Existential kink as a sub archetype within your shadow operating system. It's not the decision maker, but it plays a crucial role in justifying why staying stuck feels safe or even rewarding. It's the, rationalizer the one that whispers see, that's why it's better to stay here. It keeps you aligned with your shadow operating system. By offering a hidden reward, whether that's avoiding risk, staying in control, perfectionism, or never having to face the vulnerability of stepping forward. So who is this? Existential kink archetype that we have within us. It is the part of you that's quietly delicious Lilly satisfied with the struggle. She's the one who feels a perverse pleasure in the tension of wanting something and not having it. The one who gets a little thrill out of staying, just shy of your potential, because honestly, The pain of almost, but not quite. Is familiar and familiarity is intoxicating. Y reached the goal when you can revel in the ache of never quite getting there. Here's the thing about the EK archetype. She's not here to ruin your life. In fact, she's here to teach you something profound. That every frustration, every stuck moment, every failure that you keep replaying is something you're secretly choosing because it meets a deeper unacknowledged desire. This isn't a flaw. It's human. And the key isn't to reject her it's to own her. Because when you can admit that the part of you. Or that a part of you is getting a kick out of staying stuck. You reclaim the power you've been outsourcing to your shadow. When you dare to speak your dream. EK, let's just call her EK. Shows up to stir the pot. She loves the drama of it. Wanting something and believing you can't have it. She thrives on the delicious tension between your longing and your limiting beliefs. And honestly, She's a bit of a seductress. She'll convince you that it's better to stay in the fantasy of your dream than risk. The messy, uncertain reality of going after it all. And I mean, hello, my name is Louis. I have to admit I am in Nam, murdered with her, and if I'm not careful, I let her run the show. So, how does she sabotage you? E K whispers things like what's the rush. The wanting is the best part. You've waited this long. Why not? Wait a little longer? If you go after it and fail the fantasy dies. Isn't it better to keep it alive by not trying at all. Okay. I bet a lot of you are going to raise your hand on that one because. Failing ahead of time, feels so much more delicious than actually attempting the effort, whatever it is, and failing. Actually inaction. But here's her brilliance. She's showing you exactly where your power is tied up. The dreams that you haven't dared to articulate, they're tangled up in the stories you've told yourself about why you can't or shouldn't have them. And the existential kink archetype is a mirror reflecting all of the ways that you've made an identity out of staying stuck. So, how do we begin to reclaim. Our power from this seductress E K. And take back the reins without shaming or rejecting her. It starts with leaning into her energy, not running from it or denying that it even exists. So here's the paradox to move forward. You have to embrace the part of you that secretly loves being stuck. You have to let yourself feel the pleasure in the frustration. The twisted satisfaction in the struggle. And once you fully own it, You can choose to let it go. So let's as always, we need to lead between the lines here. So we are going to read between the lines. Frustration. Isn't the problem. It's the cover story. The real issue is there's something you deeply desire, but haven't allowed yourself to claim and the frustration exists because a part of you is enjoying the drama of denial. It feels safer to stay caught in the cycle of wanting then. To risk stepping into a version of you who has to hold that desire with confidence. Because here's the secret. When you get honest about the satisfaction you feel in your stuckness about the thrill of almost, but not quite you stop letting it control you. You can finally see it for what it is. A beautiful, messy piece of your humanity, trying to protect you from stepping into your full power. Now that we've exposed. The truth beneath the frustration. Here's how you can begin reclaiming the energy and using it to move forward. First ask yourself. Where am I secretly enjoying my frustration. What's the payoff I'm getting from not going after this dream. Like, as an example, maybe the frustration lets you play the victim. So you never have to take responsibility for failing or succeeding. Then you have to consciously acknowledge the. The pleasure. Like, what would it feel like to fully admit. That I enjoy this. To stop pretending I hate the tension and instead revel in it just for a moment. Feel it, name it. Don't judge it. And then once you've leaned in, ask. What would happen if I use this same energy to pursue the dream, instead of resisting it. The energy you've been using to stay stuck is the same energy that can propel you forward. If you're willing to redirect it, but you can't redirect what you, uh, won't claim, right. Or that you don't know is there because you haven't taken the time to really feel into this process. So. The truth is. Meeting conversion of you who dares to articulate her dreams. Isn't just about courage. It's about capacity. Capacity to hold your desires without shame to meet your shadow without fear and to own every part of yourself. Even the parts that thrive on struggle. Power meets power. When you stop fighting who you are and start embracing it fully. And the moment you do. That's when everything shifts. So I'll leave you with this. What's one frustration in your life that you've been secretly savoring. What's the dream tied to it. The one you've been too afraid to name, write it down. Let yourself feel both the tension and the thrill and then ask, what would it take to meet the version of me? Who's already living it. Power meeting power is an ongoing conversation. It's not about a one-time breakthrough. But about cultivating the courage and the capacity to meet your desires every single day. And as you leave this space, I challenge you to confront one frustration in your life that you've been secretly savoring. One dream you've kept hidden because it feels too big, too bold, too risky. Write it down, name it and then ask. What would it take to become the version of me? Who's already living this dream. And if you're ready to take this work deeper, I'd love to help you explore the next step. Check the show notes for tools and ways that we can work together. And as always, thank you for joining me on this journey. I'll see you in the next episode of lead between the lines.